Slow To Anger

1 John 3:16“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”

Today I guess you can say I found that even as I grow in Christ, I still become a person of anger. I am not talking about being angry with others, but with myself. Sometimes, I set up late studying and reading the materials from school, and I feel I have it in my head, but then when I take the test, it is like I forget everything right then and there, and after I finish struggling over the questions, and fighting my mind over the answer, and then look at the final score, I feel the hate of not being so smart come over me, and I find myself questioning my abilities to become the Counselor I desire to be in life.

I guess there is still more for me to learn even as I learn different values  of being a man of God. I can see how Paul, and John felt at times when they couldn’t or felt that they couldn’t save the souls of those who come into their lives, it is so hard to see yourself not doing something right after you have done all you can to make it work out. But I also come to see that each time we depend upon on our own ways, and our own minds, we seem to fall apart and fail. Now does that apply to school and college class? In ways I guess you can say yes, instead of beating myself down about the grade, why don’t I see the importance of learning and finding others ways to study? Why don’t I realize if I can remove the anger and fear of failure from my mind before I take the test, then maybe I will be able to overcome those moments of failing the test. So you see; right now I am not asking God to make me as smart as Elijah was, but make me able to do what is right even when it comes to studying for class, so I can be more effective in being the person he has created me to be. God Bless

Apostle Tony R. Smith